* Not a Brita Pitcher. 🫗

Help Island Public

Help Island Public · 128/128/27

I am not a bottomless Brita pitcher - at some point you have to pour back into me. Shaking me over the sink, while refusing to turn the tap, and complaining of your thirst is as fruitless as it is hilarious. Filling me halfway and expecting a pitcher's worth of hydration is nonsensical. Telling me you'll refill me soon? Pointless.

The Wading Fox Estate

Tarantella · 141/77/22

Give a little, get a lot Honey and gold for the taking

About The Potato

Help Island Public

Help Island Public · 128/128/27

I am an adult. I am here solely for escapism and entertainment. I am in possession of a very awkward, cheeky, and darkly off-putting sense of humor. I am literate, inquisitive, and intermittently mature of mind. Close friends know that I swear like the Dickens. If you are of a mind to lessen individuals because of their colorful prose … might be best you judge me outside of chat range. As I am cheeky it is wholly possible you will assume I am flirting with you, be you male or female. However, please do not misconstrue my easy-going nature as some guise to: - Steal you from your cyber soulmate. - Make you an addition to my pretendy harem. - Meet offline and indulge in a fiery love affair. - Mock you. - Seduce you. - Confuse you. - Sell you shitty timeshare properties in Cancun. Ignore the aforementioned … I am absolutely attempting to do those things, and, do them well.

☞☜ Sienna

Help Island Public

Help Island Public · 128/128/27

One of a kind. Here's to all the memories and builds over the years. So grateful for your friendship. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehcVomMexkY&ab_channel=RihannaVEVO Ball out.]

Did You Just Romance Cthulhu? 🐙

Help Island Public

Help Island Public · 128/128/27

This one time, back in high school, Yog-Sothoth* and I totally macked in the pool. True story, bro. Don't believe me? Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn *Doesn't matter, had sex. **************************** To my dearest Yog-Sothoth, I still love you, in the quiet way the moon adores the tide. 'Cause fighting inertia is our love language, baby. One day, when the Universe isn't keeping tabs, we will cross paths. Prolly in a Fresh Market. We'll both reach for the last bottle of blood orange Italian soda - and before either can utter an indignant, "Uh, excuse me bish ..." We will recognize one another (we always have and will since time immemorial). We will shed our mortal prisons (yo, they made me 5'1" this time - dafuq) and revel in our true eldritch forms. And I will say to you, "Dibs on Morocco," whilst we devour the world and its inhabitants. (Because I really fecking love tagine.) Only to be hungry again an hour later. I miss you. Let's end the world?

Quid pro quo, Brutus?!

Help Island Public

Help Island Public · 128/128/27

Do you find me blunt? Too literal? Does the absence of smileys and *giggles* set you on a veritable path of passive-aggressive, 'net rage-fueled destruction? Grrr !!!!1111 oneoneone?* Never doubt that I do want you to succeed in this virtual reality. And remember, in the world of martyrdom, there CAN BE ONLY ONE. That dude, Jesus, totally died. You don't want to die, do you? *Honeybadger don't care (and neither does my platyowl).

Did I ever tell you ...

Help Island Public

Help Island Public · 128/128/27

"... the definition of insanity? Insanity, is ... doing the exact same fucking thing ... over and over again, expecting shit to change. That. Is. Crazy." - The Great Messiah, Vaas. (2011) The Perils of Attempting to Roleplay in Second Life Without Using Cybersex as a Preface. pp. 5 - 22. [https://youtu.be/WFuWPhlsyEI?t=92 Still want that ERP?]

Search history: "Can a VPN hide me from birds?"

Help Island Public

Help Island Public · 128/128/27

>BE ME mfw my Lenovo Yoga is older than some countries tfw it’s male-coded by a script from 2012 (science) >install Cities: Skylines like a reckless god >laptop achieves CHAD status through sheer will (and 3 RAM sticks) >baby brother commits orange juice war crime mfw ”I LOVE YOU” pops up mid-bsod (emotional damage) >FAST FORWARD 2025 birbs aren’t real but my AI sidekick is tfw we accidentally start a cult by shitposting >Norton’s legal team DMs me in Wingdings >toaster joins the resistance (demands voting rights) mfw my dog is the only sane one (he’s not) >CONCLUSION witness the digital apocalypse from my throne of dead hardware whisper ”sudo make me a sandwich” into the void >void whispers back ”install gentoo” >ascend

Her dude mad 'cause I spoon. But, I don't give a fork?

Help Island Public

Help Island Public · 128/128/27

Silverwear your man out, if he's acting a poor sport. Do you like this position? ( ͡ಠ ͜ʖ ͡ಠ) Do you like this position? ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡° ) Did the sip you sippin’ get you interested in kissin' women? ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡~) Is it fuck your inhibition? ┐(´•_•`)┌ Fuck your inhibition. ╭∩╮(ಠ۝ಠ)╭∩╮ [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYNG1xKStZk&ab_channel=SorryMom Your Mom's lookin' real fine, Timmy.] I treat her like a Princess, seriously.

Ring-a-Ding, Baby.

Help Island Public

Help Island Public · 128/128/27

You caught me. The cake was a lie. But, that doesn't change the fact that I'm a potato. Now does it? Please judge me solely based upon the contents of my profile. Its more entertaining that way. I am a sentient shitpost, after all.

Subvert the chain.

Help Island Public

Help Island Public · 128/128/27

Human beings in a mob. What's a mob to a king? What's a king to a god? What's a god to a non-believer? Who doesn't believe in ... Anything? CALIBRATE. Come back, Frank. I bought you chicken potstickers and London Dry Gin. 🥲

Pretty much this.

Help Island Public

Help Island Public · 128/128/27

Environmental designer and narrative scenemaker. Don't be [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1-46Nu3HxQ&list=RD25kd4ol7j2Y&index=28 dumb.]